You know what I’ve been missing the most during lockdown?
Impromptu after work drinks, weekend brunch, coffee dates, wining, dining and most of all gossip! We’ve tried to keep up some semblance of normality of course, with the odd video call here and there, but honestly, I’m getting bored of talking to friends about the monotonous day-to-day of London Lockdown.
& that’s when I was introduced to a totally inclusive forum by one of my friends called Lockdown Love
It’s a forum for bored wives and husbands to discuss all things naughty and nice! There’s all sorts of topics on the forum ranging from advice on how to keep positive and entertained right now, as well as thoughts on married life, affairs and sex! It’s a totally inclusive community and I’ve really been enjoying commenting on all the interesting daily subjects!
What a great idea to kill some time and talk to some interesting characters. It’s all run by the website IllicitEncounters.com (a dating site for married people!)
Let me know if you like it, maybe chat to you there? 😉
The UK’s largest married dating site has released statistics that provide an insight into when infidelity occurs and if you are 8 years into your marriage, now is the time to worry!
IllicitEncounters.com surveyed 1,300 of its members and discovered 8 years to be the most popular time after marriage for people to embark on an extra-marital relationship.
Most adulterers have remained with their spouse since having an affair (87%), and the majority of their partners never found out about the affair (78%).
The top reason for having an affair given by both men and women was ‘Sexual Satisfaction’.
Studies show that 57% of men and 54% of women admit to having cheated on their partner* – with more than half of the UK population allegedly having had a fling with someone other than their partner, it seems Britons do not shy away from the idea of having an affair, and for many it is a gamble worth taking as much of the time their partner never finds out.
Stacey a female member using the site said “You know, we’ve done a lot together. We fell in love, we had children, and we bought a house, now it’s just living day to day – sameness. The routine has been driving me nuts for years but I’ve tried to hold it together.
Once you’ve ticked all the boxes, there’s not much left to do but be, well, settled – and I am too restless to be content in sitting around being settled. Yes, I had my first ever affair 8 years in. I admit I missed the lust, the excitement and the energy that someone new gives you – was it an itch? Yeah probably, and I’ve been denying myself the scratch for a long time.”
Claire Page spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com said “Why are couples cheating after 8 years? Well, 8 years is a heck of a long time to keep the fire burning, and the levels of sexual satisfaction will have well and truly deteriorated long before this.
If you’re in your 8th year, and haven’t had fantastic sex with your spouse in awhile – it could be they’re scratching an itch, or perhaps, you are.”
* Associated Press, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy
Intelligent people are most likely to have affairs, especially women, according to IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s leading married dating site.
The website looked at the educational qualifications of its nearly 1 million members in the UK. The findings show that 72% of female members have higher education qualifications of Bachelor’s Degrees or above whereas male members fared slightly lower with 65%.
Education, however, was not a standalone factor when analyzing a person’s intelligence. The website also cross examined the profiles of 500 currently active members of IllicitEncounters.com and found that 61% spoke more than one language, 48% described themselves as ‘creative’ and 34% ran their own business.
The majority of members on the site are in senior professions and earning high salaries (either in the higher rate or additional rate tax band), it is clear that intelligence impacts success.
“Appearing to have a successful life immediately makes you more desirable.” Claire Page, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com said, “It is unsurprising that successful people are faced with temptation when others are instantly attracted to them. Successful people tend to be high earners who have the financial means to indulge in an additional discrete relationship. They are also natural problem solvers and better negotiators who are more likely to take calculated risks – if they see a problem in their marriage but for whatever reason they cannot or do not want to leave, the obvious solution is to have an affair!”
The rise in women choosing to cheat on their spouses could be due to women choosing to focus on their careers and have children later in life, with the average age of women having kids currently at 30 years old. With better financial stability and less commitment, wives choosing to have an affair are on the increase.
The National Opinion Research Centre’s General Social Survey of American Society 2013 confirmed there has been an increase in women having affairs by 40%, while men having affairs remained consistent at 21%. IllicitEncounters.com has also seen an increase of 18% of female members joining the site in the last 12 months alone. With better financial stability, better education and less commitments, attached women choosing to take on another lover are on the rise.
Think you can tell if your partner is cheating? Now you don’t have to as a new interactive app can do this for you. AreTheyACheat.com employs expert knowledge from IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest married dating website, to establish whether your relationship is at risk of infidelity.
The app scores your answers based on a cheating partners actions in situations within a cohabiting relationship – 10 points if they have had a sudden ‘increase in overtime’, 10 points if they’ve recently ‘become obsessed with their appearance’ etc – the higher the score the increased possibility they are having their cake and eating it. With twelve likely scenarios, this method will establish whether someone’s partner is being unfaithful, whether there is a high risk of infidelity or whether someone is being overly paranoid.
AreTheyACheat.com fulfils its purpose – the app functions to reveal whether or not a person is being cheated on – the cheat-o-meter is designed to know what to look out for, as well as inadvertently showing what not to do for those who are considering taking on a mistress or histress without getting caught out.
With close to 1 million members using IllicitEncounters.com – accounting for approximately 7% of the UK married population; it is clear people seeking affairs is on the rise. To put it bluntly, technology is making it easier to have an affair and get away with it. Year on year there is an increase in registrations, suggesting people are moving away from the conventions of a traditional offline affair and utilising the technology available to them to keep their adultery under wraps instead.
Spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com Claire Page said “It is becoming pretty evident that the UK is obsessed with affairs! We love to hear about them, talk about them, and now we enjoy taking part in them – it’s a natural progression. Of course the whole point of an affair is for it to remain discrete. AreTheyACheat.com isn’t just for people who want to find out if their partner is cheating, but also for the adulterer who wants to check they are not making any school boy errors.
There are so many ways in which you can utilize modern technology to cover your tracks and save a marriage these days – those who make the rookie mistakes outlined in the app need to reconsider their approach to infidelity because it is clearly not working in their benefit.”
New research by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s top married dating site, shows that horse-riding is the top fantasy first date. 300 women on the site were asked what their ideal first date was and the most popular choice was ‘horse riding’ with 37% of the votes, beating ‘cinema’, ‘sailing’, ‘candle lit dinner’ and ‘drinks in a pub’.
“When women think about their ideal first date they associate passion and exciting things with romantic success,” psychologist Lucy Redford said, “Although something very over-the-top like a flight to Paris is intimidating and too extravagant, something active like horse-riding takes your mind off the pressure of a first date, it’s fun and shows you’ve put thought into the date because it requires more effort than a few pints in the local. Horses are also associated with wealth, which in itself is attractive, and require a lot of attention and care – and most women look for an attentive, caring man.”
There has been a sharp rise in estate agents bringing their mistresses to show houses, both for fantasy house shopping and bedroom rendezvous, according to married dating website, IllicitEncounters.com. One in twenty five (3.8%) people on the adulterous site claim to have had, or currently be in, affairs with estate agents. These people were asked why estate agents are great mistress/ histress material and the top three reasons were:
1)They’re great liars.
2)They’re financially stable.
3)They’re professional and understand the boundaries of an affair.
This fantasy house shopping is well-received by their partners because it “brings a sense of escapism” according to 89 mistresses in London. The most popular show house affair locations were Richmond, Chelsea, South Kensington and Canary Wharf.
“One customer told us she had been taken to a house on Billionaire’s row in Hampstead, North London, which was on the market for £65 million!” Claire Page, spokesperson for Illicit Encounters said, “The growing trend isn’t difficult to understand – show houses are cheaper and more comfortable than a hotel, although if I thought a high-earning estate agent was bringing me to a show house to save on money, I wouldn’t be impressed, but then again, unlike a hotel bill, it’s more discrete as it doesn’t leave a money trail, so it’s a safer option.”
“Thatcherism began the fantasy house shopping craze.” Psychologist Lucy Redford said, “When the Prime Minister declared her belief in a ‘property owning democracy’, it made the common family believe that through hard work and practical thrift, they could own their own house. For the first time in history, the idea of substantial assets being available to everyone was incredibly attractive – it brought financial security and a great deal of freedom. It’s the same factors that make property buying today so attractive. Fantasy house shopping and property porn are bigger than ever and so the rise of estate agents and property developers bringing their mistresses to lavish houses isn’t difficult to understand.”
Market leader in married online dating site Illicit Encounters has released data which comprises a similarity between personality traits and drink of choice. Screening 3,000 of its members, Illicit Encounters found that we judge people on what drink they order and some liquors harbor negative affiliations. 74% of the 3,000 surveyed members said they could tell more about a person by what they drink than two minutes of small chat.
The study indicates that posher drinks suggest a higher caliber of class. We think James Bond was on the right track with his choice of spirit, and so do 72% of members who matched the word Suave to the classic Martini; let’s face it, every woman on the planet who hears Daniel Craig say ‘Shaken not stirred’ finds him completely irresistible. The cheaper less sophisticated drinks such as lager are associated with beer guzzling loudmouths with 89% relating the word Boisterous to Beer. We may enjoy our poison of choice – but what does it actually say about our taste, or lack-there-of?
Spokesperson for Illicit Encounters Claire Page said “There has always been a social stigma to certain alcoholic drinks. If you think of the typical soccer fan watching a home game at the local stadium, you’d assume he’s got a pint of Fosters in his hand; on the flipside if you consider the drink of choice for a lawyer and his circle of socialites, it’s more likely a bottle of Dom Perignon. It’s a good idea to learn what drink stereotypes are associated with personality traits so you know what to order for a prospective partner, and you don’t offend a classy woman by buying her a pint of Budweiser on your first date!”
Let’s have some fun here!
Women on Men: Cheap and tasteless. Doesn’t have sex at home and his kids are disappointments- he drowns himself in copious amounts of beer way past closing time.
Men on Women: Laddish and boisterous, a wears the trousers-kind-of-girl. Often thought of as one of the lads.
Women on Men: Awkward loner. He is a fan of emasculating sex, involving bondage as well as voyeurism. Refers to his musical tastes as eclectic. Remains reserved until an opportunity arises for him to talk about art house Swedish movies.
Men on Women: Pretentious and uninviting. Keeps her man on a tight leash making all executive decisions including when, how, and for how long they have sex. Has an obsessive compulsive tendency.
Women on Men: Cocksure and presumptuous. Will settle down when hell freezes over. Has an inflated ego and drones on about his many sexual pursuits. Conversations with him are dominated by innuendos.
Men on Women: Intelligent and dauntless with an air of grace. Has exceptionally high standards and won’t settle. Will dismiss you if you cannot keep up with an intellectual conversation.
Women on men: Charming, cheeky and old fashioned. Has an awful lot of pride but needs validation of his masculinity.
Men on Women: Attention seeking and forward. Bit of an exhibitionist. She enjoys an audience, particularly of the opposite sex.
Women on men: Tosser
Men on Women: Socialite
Women on men: He’s Gay.
Men on Women: Cheeky minx. Independent, but very high maintenance. City dweller who was career focussed in her 20s and is now single in her 30s.
Women on men: Artistic extrovert. Has an open relationship with his long-distance Estonian girlfriend. Inhabits a converted warehouse; with a bunch of hipster friends.
Men on Women: Eccentric and loud. Has waltzed in 2 hours late, wearing killer heels and yesterdays outfit. Has her best girlfriend on speed-dial for speedy exits.
Rum & Coke
Women on men: Notorious philanderer. Has a bank balance to match his ego. Likes to flash his cash and spoil the women in his life.
Men on Women: Interesting and outspoken. She is very composed opinionated.
Gin and Tonic
Women on men: Educated and endearing. He possesses a calm and tolerant manner. Has a healthy and happy home and an agreeable wife.
Men on Women: Straight talking and self assured. Knows what she wants and how to get it.
Women on men: Suave. Has an extremely likable personality. Arrives with his stunning girlfriend and spends the night introducing her to important business associates while telling fascinating stories.
Men on Women: Untamed and decisive. Likes to leave her options open and if somebody decent comes along she will make her intentions clear.
When I first moved in with my partner, he didn’t always seem to enjoy sleeping in the same bed together. I would sometimes wake in the middle of the night to find he had gone and fallen asleep on the sofa in the living room. It took him a very long time to begin to sleep through the night without getting uncomfortable. His excuse used to be that he wanted to starfish across the bed and with me there he couldn’t! He remained adamant that our sleeping arrangements looked something like this:
I must admit… he was probably right!
It’s taken us awhile to get to a comfortable way of sleeping together. Now when we go to bed we sleep on our sides facing away from each other. Some might argue that isn’t a normal way for a married couple to sleep – but I disagree! I think whatever way you choose to sleep has a little bit of meaning behind your relationship and isn’t necessarily a bad thing! Here are my thoughts of types of sleeping arrangements between couples, I’ll start off with my own.
Sleeping Not Facing
I think this is a stage where you are both content in having your own space but are comfortable enough with each-other not to feel bad about it! Both parties get a good nights sleep and there’s no rules about having a little cuddle before you turn over. Tends to happen later on in a relationship.
I will never let you go
I personally find this sleep suffocating. Happens at the early stages of a relationship when you cannot express your love enough – excessive amounts of PDA and over touching.
The protective cuddle
This one can be lovely from time to time. You may have had a great day, a great chat or a great experience. You go to bed and you just want to hold or be held. Very affectionate and comforting.
Mine Mine Mine
This one just screams ‘YOU ARE THE ONE’, and is a little soppy. Nice for a pre-bed snuggle; but does anyone actually sleep like this? All I can think of is how the man must have a dead arm by now!
The Nobody Sleeps Like This
Seriously. Nobody sleeps like this. Who could possible sleep like this?
New research released today by Illicit Encounters, the UK’s top married dating site, shows that British women would sleep with Mike Tindall over any other English rugby player. The Yorkshire native scooped 23% of the votes from 1,000 surveyed women, beating Jonny Wilkinson (21%), Owen Farrell (16%), Danny Care (15%) and Danny Cipriani (13%). The least shag-able player was Tom Youngs with 0.6% (6) of the votes.
“Some people may find it surprising that Mike Tindall tops the list of English rugby players women want to sleep with,” Claire Page, spokesperson for Illicit Encounters said, “He looks a bit like a warped shoe but he’s also very funny and intelligent, as we’ve seen on his ITV interviews. I think the fact that he’s married to Zara Phillips is a huge attraction – a lot of women are very attracted to men who are with high profile or very good-looking women, even if he himself isn’t handsome. They sub-consciously think ‘If he’s got her, he must have a great personality or be great in bed!’ Putting that with his great physique, (I mean, he’s tall, broad and his upper body strength is so impressive, he’s able to bench press over 140 kg) it’s not hard to see why women across England find him so attractive!”
“Studies have shown generally women prefer dominant men,” psychologist Lucy Redford said, “and there is certainly something to be said about extremely muscular physiques triggering primal emotions of submissiveness in women. However, oftentimes there is actually a threshold of muscularity that can result in negative stereotyping once passed. Lack of depth, lack of intelligence, simple mindedness, aggressiveness, insecurity, and narcissism are all perceived traits that people prejudge in bodybuilders. However, Mike Tindall has proven on numerous interviews he is much more than this – he’s calm under pressure, skilled, passionate on the field and has a great sense of humour. Being witty goes a long way, with both sexes!”
New research pulled by Illicit Encounters suggests that running can prolong your sex life! The research surveyed 1,000 members of Illicit Encounters over the age of 50 who have sex more than once a fortnight, and 1,000 members over the age of 50 who have sex less than once a fortnight or no longer have sex. Of the 1,000 members who have regular sex, 61% of them (613) jog once or twice a week, while 24% of them (236) jog three times or more a week. A staggering 895 of those who don’t jog or do exercise also don’t have regular sex!
“The health benefits of jogging are fantastic!” said Chris O’Connor, personal trainer “It’s great for diseases like osteoporosis and arthritis because it helps the joints and bones, as well as improving cardiovascular fitness, and of course weight loss. People don’t realize there are a lot of mental benefits to running. It’s the number one natural solution to depression and anxiety because your body releases endorphins when you jog – that’s why so many people get addicted. It makes sense that people who jog regularly have a better sex life than those who don’t. When you jog you have more energy, you’re more flexible, you have better breathing and stamina, your testosterone levels increase – of course you’re going to have sex more often!”
Maybe there is something to it. Could couples who jog together stay together? I guess that’s another post folks!