Tag Archives: marriage

There’s Too Much Pressure On Young People

13 Saturday Aug 2016

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This isn’t the first time you’ll have seen someone make this statement. In fact, it’s far from an original thought, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

With a 24 hour news cycle and the ability to connect to anyone, anywhere, anytime, it’s easy to think that things are worse than they’ve ever been – in every aspect of life – but things are, generally speaking, pretty good.

We’re healthier than we’ve ever been, we’re living longer, we’re smarter – it goes on.

Life’s good, guys, trust me.

However, the downside of this non-stop connectivity is that we’re too focused on keeping up with the Jones’, and it’s even worse for young people.

In this instance, they’re marrying far too prematurely. Recent research has suggested that it’s down to celebrity culture and a seemingly fruitless endeavour to live the perfect life – to have the perfect marriage.

So, young people marry young, have kids, then realise that they can’t afford to divorce a couple of years down the line when it all starts to unravel.

It’s supposedly led to an increase in the amount of young people looking for affairs as a viable alternative to divorce, which is understandable.

The bigger problem? I can’t see it changing anytime soon.

And another one.

10 Wednesday Aug 2016

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António Horta-Osório. Nope, never heard of him either. But he’s a very important man. Why? Well, he’s the chief executive of Lloyds Bank, namely.

He’s also been making some dubious visits to Singapore, so claim The Sun. Following Vernon Kay, Ozzy Osborne and others, Horata-Osório joins the long, long list of high-profile adulterers this year alone, if The Sun’s claims are to be believed that is (they’ve never lied before, have they?).

It does raises a pertinent and salient question; are affairs simply a part of every day life?

Whether you’re young, old, rich, poor, attractive, ugly, male, female, there’s a very good chance that you know someone, even if not very well, who has cheated or been cheated on themselves.

It begs the question: is monogamy simply a social construct? Will affairs become acceptable in a few decades from now? Should we be surprised at the alarming (or not as the case may be) of failed marriages?

Answers on a postcard, please.

“The excitement of knowing that men actually found me attractive and alluring, was addictive.”

01 Monday Aug 2016

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Meet Chloe, 40-something, from England. I stumbled upon Chloe’s story in the Mirror. A middle-aged woman in a sexless, loveless marriage, she could so very easily be a Bored Wife herself.

While I’m never one to take solace out of other people’s misery, it’s heartening to know that you’re not alone.

And then, in the same article, there was Jenny, followed swiftly by Claire.

They elucidate on their sexless marriages and their conquest to find a man outside of their marriage. Whether it’s arthritis, menopause, depression or something totally different altogether, what stood out is the alarming amount of men who seemingly want to make love to their wives, yet can’t.

Whether that’s a willing refusal from the women in question, or their hand is forced, we’re losing our libido.

How Social Media Has Influenced the Modern Relationship

08 Friday Apr 2016

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“My friend is in her marriage having the time of her life, and I’m just angrily elucidating my thoughts on an internet blog.”

At least that’s how I’m made to feel by the almost overwhelming combination of Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram… the list seems infinite.

But does it really even matter? Well, sort of.

I think that there’s a little bit of the ‘keeping up with the Jones’ syndrome in all of us, and that’s ok.  It’s easy to take solace from someone else’s failure; it means you’re not alone; it justifies your misdemeanors, your missteps, your failure to achieve whatever it is that you set out to achieve when you were young(er).

Cowardly? Maybe. Comforting? Most certainly.

But it’s getting harder and harder, year on year. Expectations of relationships have changed in the last, say, 10 years or so.

Accessing the aforementioned social media channels floods me with images. Look at the happy people; they’re always smiling, always socialising, getting married, raising children – it takes a level of mental fortitude that’s beyond most of us to be able to avoid making comparisons and avoid being overcome by feelings of inadequacy.

We’re all stuck in a massive, bottomless echo chamber, where we’re told what happiness looks like. The result? We feel that our own marriage isn’t where it should be, so, naturally, we’re inclined to act upon that.

It takes the better part of, I don’t know, 5 minutes (?) to set up a profile on a dating site, and away you go. And given the aforementioned, y’know, ‘my life’s terrible while all my friends are thriving’ thing, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t given it any thought…

The Mistress Who Only Dates Married Men…

13 Wednesday Jan 2016

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Dating the man you’re married to and dating someone else’s hubby are two very different things. You’ll often find that the latter is more likely to spoil you with love and attention; ironic, no?

In any case, I think that Debbie Brown is doing it right.

“I’ve had affairs with some ­absolutely gorgeous, very well-heeled men, who take me to the finest restaurants,” she says.

“Deep down, I know they probably wouldn’t want a relationship with me if they were single but I’m so much more exciting when I’m their mistress.

“They can tell me their wildest fantasies because they don’t have to go to parents’ night with me, or face me the next morning as the kids squabble over the breakfast table.”

Sounds good to me, where can I sign up?

Open Relationships – Do They Work?

05 Tuesday Jan 2016

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You’re texting your significant other to let them know you’re having sex, but it’s with another person.

Meet Tony & Debbie, the couple who have been in an open relationship for over 15 years. They’re like any ordinary couple, except they don’t believe in monogamy.

In fact, they’re more than happy to meet and sleep with other people, so much so that they claim it’s improved their relationship.

‘It’s not that I don’t love Debbie,” Tony says “we have just found that it does improve our relationship – it makes you much more open with each other.”

What does it say for monogamy? Maybe that there’s a slow but steady shift away from what the general idea of a modern relationship is.

Don’t knock it till you try it, I guess.

The Mistress Who Saves Marriages ?

26 Thursday Nov 2015

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Meet Gweneth Lee, 45. She’s a mistress, but one who claims that she saves people’s marriages. Yeah, I’m not sure how I feel about this one either.

Her reasoning? She says, and I quote, “If her husband had not been allowed to cheat he would have left her and that would have caused huge upheaval to a family with children.”

“He stayed in the family home and would sleep with me with his wife’s full knowledge. We would be very discreet. I was a simple outlet for him to have his fun.”

Ms. Lee says that she “doesn’t feel morally compromised at all in what we have done. Everyone benefited from the arrangement – even the wife who had a much happier husband because of me.”

What do we think? Does she make a salient point, or is it a completely unjustifiable act?

Married for 8 years? You’re about to be cheated on!

04 Tuesday Aug 2015

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Married for 8 years? You’re about to be cheated on!

The UK’s largest married dating site has released statistics that provide an insight into when infidelity occurs and if you are 8 years into your marriage, now is the time to worry!

IllicitEncounters.com surveyed 1,300 of its members and discovered 8 years to be the most popular time after marriage for people to embark on an extra-marital relationship.

Most adulterers have remained with their spouse since having an affair (87%), and the majority of their partners never found out about the affair (78%).

The top reason for having an affair given by both men and women was ‘Sexual Satisfaction’.

Studies show that 57% of men and 54% of women admit to having cheated on their partner* – with more than half of the UK population allegedly having had a fling with someone other than their partner, it seems Britons do not shy away from the idea of having an affair, and for many it is a gamble worth taking as much of the time their partner never finds out.

Stacey a female member using the site said “You know, we’ve done a lot together. We fell in love, we had children, and we bought a house, now it’s just living day to day – sameness. The routine has been driving me nuts for years but I’ve tried to hold it together.

Once you’ve ticked all the boxes, there’s not much left to do but be, well, settled – and I am too restless to be content in sitting around being settled. Yes, I had my first ever affair 8 years in. I admit I missed the lust, the excitement and the energy that someone new gives you – was it an itch? Yeah probably, and I’ve been denying myself the scratch for a long time.”

Claire Page spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com said “Why are couples cheating after 8 years? Well, 8 years is a heck of a long time to keep the fire burning, and the levels of sexual satisfaction will have well and truly deteriorated long before this.

If you’re in your 8th year, and haven’t had fantastic sex with your spouse in awhile – it could be they’re scratching an itch, or perhaps, you are.”

* Associated Press, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy

 

Love BWC xoxo

​Rise in Estate Agents bringing their mistresses to Show Houses!

07 Tuesday Apr 2015

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There has been a sharp rise in estate agents bringing their mistresses to show houses, both for fantasy house shopping and bedroom rendezvous, according to married dating website, IllicitEncounters.com. One in twenty five (3.8%) people on the adulterous site claim to have had, or currently be in, affairs with estate agents. These people were asked why estate agents are great mistress/ histress material and the top three reasons were:

1)They’re great liars.

2)They’re financially stable.

3)They’re professional and understand the boundaries of an affair.

This fantasy house shopping is well-received by their partners because it “brings a sense of escapism” according to 89 mistresses in London. The most popular show house affair locations were Richmond, Chelsea, South Kensington and Canary Wharf.

“One customer told us she had been taken to a house on Billionaire’s row in Hampstead, North London, which was on the market for £65 million!” Claire Page, spokesperson for Illicit Encounters said, “The growing trend isn’t difficult to understand – show houses are cheaper and more comfortable than a hotel, although if I thought a high-earning estate agent was bringing me to a show house to save on money, I wouldn’t be impressed, but then again, unlike a hotel bill, it’s more discrete as it doesn’t leave a money trail, so it’s a safer option.”

“Thatcherism began the fantasy house shopping craze.” Psychologist Lucy Redford said, “When the Prime Minister declared her belief in a ‘property owning democracy’, it made the common family believe that through hard work and practical thrift, they could own their own house. For the first time in history, the idea of substantial assets being available to everyone was incredibly attractive – it brought financial security and a great deal of freedom. It’s the same factors that make property buying today so attractive. Fantasy house shopping and property porn are bigger than ever and so the rise of estate agents and property developers bringing their mistresses to lavish houses isn’t difficult to understand.”

Love BWC xoxo

Who’s Cheating in Your Neighborhood

11 Wednesday Mar 2015

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infedelity index

IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest married dating site has released a 2015 index of the number of people having affairs in every area in the UK. According to the index Beeston is 2015’s most adulterous town in the UK with 2.54% of the population of the town having an affair. You can check the interactive website and see how many people are having an affair in your postcode www.infidelityindex.co.uk

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“It’s no wonder the traffic to the site is so high.” Claire Page of IllicitEncounters.com said “People are dying to see how many people are having an affair on their street, village or town – who wouldn’t want to know if they live in a cheating hotspot? Thousands of people are checking the Illicit Index to see how many people in their area are having affairs. I think it’s great that Beeston is the most unfaithful town of 2015. People think you’d get more life in a graveyard than in Beeston but the Illicit Index proves one thing: it’s always the quiet ones!”

“There are many reasons people have affairs in small towns like Beeston – feelings of frustration, isolation and loneliness can be contributing factors as well as the limited options in marriage.” psychologist Lucy Redford said, “Discretion is usually the main priority in extra-marital affairs. If secrecy wasn’t important, the individual would seek a divorce before an affair. Oftentimes when passion has left a relationship, but people don’t want to fracture their home status or disrupt a family unit, and they’re not willing to compromise their sex lives, an affair becomes tempting for their situation.”

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Wow. Well that’s quite a lot to take in! Who would’ve thought?

Love BWC xoxo