Over half of us are pretty stalkery…stalker… stalkerish? Are these real words?
In any case, over half of us have stalked our first love on social media, according to the married-dating website, IllicitEncounters.com
Yes, 64% of us have gone to the effort of keeping tabs on our previous lover online, while 99% of us have fallen in love at least once by the time we’re 40.
“Anyone’s first love will have a profound effect on their lives,” said the site’s spokesperson.
“With so many of us on social media, it is far easier to secretly track how they are getting on and it is not surprising that most people have done this.”
“My friend is in her marriage having the time of her life, and I’m just angrily elucidating my thoughts on an internet blog.”
At least that’s how I’m made to feel by the almost overwhelming combination of Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram… the list seems infinite.
But does it really even matter? Well, sort of.
I think that there’s a little bit of the ‘keeping up with the Jones’ syndrome in all of us, and that’s ok. It’s easy to take solace from someone else’s failure; it means you’re not alone; it justifies your misdemeanors, your missteps, your failure to achieve whatever it is that you set out to achieve when you were young(er).
Cowardly? Maybe. Comforting? Most certainly.
But it’s getting harder and harder, year on year. Expectations of relationships have changed in the last, say, 10 years or so.
Accessing the aforementioned social media channels floods me with images. Look at the happy people; they’re always smiling, always socialising, getting married, raising children – it takes a level of mental fortitude that’s beyond most of us to be able to avoid making comparisons and avoid being overcome by feelings of inadequacy.
We’re all stuck in a massive, bottomless echo chamber, where we’re told what happiness looks like. The result? We feel that our own marriage isn’t where it should be, so, naturally, we’re inclined to act upon that.
It takes the better part of, I don’t know, 5 minutes (?) to set up a profile on a dating site, and away you go. And given the aforementioned, y’know, ‘my life’s terrible while all my friends are thriving’ thing, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t given it any thought…
You’re texting your significant other to let them know you’re having sex, but it’s with another person.
Meet Tony & Debbie, the couple who have been in an open relationship for over 15 years. They’re like any ordinary couple, except they don’t believe in monogamy.
In fact, they’re more than happy to meet and sleep with other people, so much so that they claim it’s improved their relationship.
‘It’s not that I don’t love Debbie,” Tony says “we have just found that it does improve our relationship – it makes you much more open with each other.”
What does it say for monogamy? Maybe that there’s a slow but steady shift away from what the general idea of a modern relationship is.
I’ve always had this notion that you shouldn’t really trust someone who doesn’t like animals. I mean WHO doesn’t like animals? Being the proud owner of a gorgeous British Shorthair moggie, I simply do not understand that you don’t like cats; or dogs for that matter.
New research by married dating site IllicitEncounters.com revealed only 18.4% out of 1000 people surveyed were dog owners. 816 of the 1000 surveyed did not have any pets at all.
Spokesperson for Illicit Encounters Claire Page says “There are many different reasons people have affairs, some people do it for companionship. Others do it because their partner travels often and they feel lonely, or because they think their partner is also having an affair so they feel it’s only fair. People want to feel adored, loved, important, valued, treasured, listened to, thrilled, or in control. An affair is not as black and white as some people think. That’s a prejudice and naïve way to look at it. What’s very interesting is the statistic from our latest survey – the fact that dog owners are the smallest group of people to stray says a lot. It reflects the temper of a dog – loyalty, protectiveness, friendship and affection are all things we associate with canines and people who are faithful.
Claire Page concedes ‘“That’s not to say that every person who owns a dog won’t have an affair. One of our members is a multimillionaire man who breeds greyhounds. Another one of our clients is a top designer who is having affairs with three different men and owns two Pomeranians.”
Of the 184 dog owners surveyed, the top five breeds were-
I’m quite irked about the new obsession with Jennifer Lopez, or in fact any woman, dating men younger than them. Over the past ten years, there has been a tremendous shift in societal perception in dating. What was once thought of as unusual (à la Demi/Ashton) has now become common place (Hallelujah!) as more and more women are going for younger men – Julianne Moore, Mariah Carey, Tina Turner, Robin Wright, Joan Collins, Geena Davis, Cher, Madonna, Susan Sarandon, Halle Berry, Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Aniston – so it shouldn’t be such a shocker in 2015 when women in the spotlight go for a younger, better model. If you had the chance, would you?
Men date younger women. All. The. Fricking. Time. So why is it such an issue in reverse? There are so many benefits to dating a younger man, like:
It’s all about me, me, me – he’ll admire your success and achievements. Being awed and adored is fab-u-lous!
They make the effort – younger men love to impress. They’ll step it up for you and become the best version of themselves, unlike a lot of older men who don’t bother.
They are better in bed – with more energy, more stamina and enthusiasm, less age-related injuries, no arthritis, no pulled muscles, no osteoporosis, higher testosterone levels and general better physique they’re bound to make you scream!
They make you feel young! BINGO! Feeling young is what we all yearn for. If there’s a person who can give me the elixir of youth, or even better, make me feel young, I’d jump at it (or them!) in a second. My husband is so busy and when he’s not busy he’s boring and I’m bored around him.
The benefits of having a younger man are so incredibly obvious to me – so why is it still such an issue for so many people? When Jennifer Lopez walked the red carpet at the Golden Globes with 27-year-old Ryan Guzman (a visual treat to say the least!) who is 19 years her junior, she started all kinds of rumours. Lopez and Guzman are starring opposite each other in new movie The Boy Next Door which is due to be released later this year.
Check out this clip of J Lo talking to Ellen DeGeneres about her co-star relationship. She says things like “He’s so fun, real sweet…He’s a real gentleman. There’s nothing wrong with it (dating a younger man!) I hate that they have a label for a woman who would date a younger guy (‘cougar’). If a younger guy is interested in you, what’s the big deal? What’s the word for the man who’s after younger girls?”
