A rivalry as old as time itself may have just been settled. Apparently, while it is indeed true that blondes have more fun, brunettes are better in-between the sheets. So, hooray, I guess.
According to IllicitEncounters.com, almost 6 out of 10 people agree that brunettes are better in bed, while, rather unsurprisingly, more men think about sex on a daily basis than women, so there’s that. And, the majority of us (91% in fact) find humour an irresistible quality.
So, if you’re a funny brunette, you’re seemingly at an advantage.
April Fo- oh, it’s real. An island, somewhere within 100 miles of Portsmouth, is up for sale, and IllicitEncounters.com (a dating website for married people) are in “advanced negotiations” to purchase it.
Their plan? To create a getaway for adulterers to spend some quality time together, one complete with accommodation, boardrooms to video call home to your partner, and hell, they’re even transporting you by helicopter.
Clever, or utter madness? We’ll have to wait to find out, as “Illicit Retreat” opens sometime next year. You can sign up to their mailing list here, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Have you ever wanted to know how many adulterers are in your town? Well, now you can (there’s literally an answer for everything it seems).
According to the annual Infidelity Index, the town of High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, is the most adulterous in the UK, with over 2% of its population having affairs.
Or, depending on where you stand, the plaudits should go to the town of Brentwood in Essex, who are officially the “cleanest” town in the UK.
Are we all just innately promiscuous? Maybe, but the married-dating site who commissioned the index have another theory, namely that the economic downturn has left a lot of couples reluctant or financially unable to divorce.
Underwear. The latest fragrances. A fitness watch. Maybe even a new phone. To the naked eye, it’s an innocent list of Christmas gifts. According to our friends over at IllicitEncounters.com, it could be a telltale sign that your partner is an adulterer.
Why? Well, isn’t in obvious? A sharp new suit, a brand new smell, a new phone (for who, exactly?), the sudden desire to get fit… he’s after someone else, or maybe he’s already found her.
Husband loves wife. Wife loves husband. Except, one day, they don’t anymore. Over a period of weeks, months, years, their relationship disintegrates, until one of husband and wife (or both) commit a cardinal sin: infidelity. There’s no blueprint, no magic formula, no surefire way of fixing what’s broken, but our friends over at IllicitEncounters.com are helping us figure out the why.
Sex. You could argue that there are more important factors in a relationship, and that it isn’t the cornerstone of every relationship, and sure, there’s a lot of cases in which you’d be right. But there are plenty more where you’d be wrong. According to IllicitEncounters, a bad sex life is at the heart of over a third of all divorces. Whether that means there’s a lack of experimentation, passion, or semblance of intimacy, someone can only accept so much. It’s natural, it’s instinctive, and if a relationship can’t satisfy a common urge or desire, it won’t last too long.
So you married too young. You were swept away, rushed in, and now find yourself with more of a tinge of regret some years down the line. Or, maybe after 20 or so years the spark isn’t there. “So if you don’t love your partner, why don’t you just get a divorce?” A good question. It’s certainly a viable solution, one that makes sense on many levels, and in certain cases it’s the most reasonable and common outcome to a busted marriage. But in the modern day, divorces can be really, really messy. There’s the allocation of wealth, for starters. That in and of itself can be, shall we say, difficult. You want a quick separation, but you’re instead lumbered with a long and drawn out litigious battle.
If you have kids, it only gets worse. There’s custody to sort out, all while ensuring that you, your partner and your children have the mental fortitude to go through it all. Divorce isn’t for everyone, and it’s not exactly a no-brainer.
Your sex life is poor, you can’t change you, you can’t change your partner, and divorce isn’t an option. Hello, affair, nice to meet you.
Yeesh. It’s not good news if you’re dating a lawyer. Our friends over at IllicitEncounters.com (who know a thing or two about affairs) are saying that the legal eagles are in fact the most likely profession to cheat on their partners. Dating a lawyer who seems a little stressed out? I’d probably keep an extra eye on them if I were you…
Going to bars isn’t working, the gym isn’t faring that much better, and that friend of a friend that your brother set you up with turned out to be the jerk that you suspected him to be in the first place. And so, you’ve put your cynicism to one side and signed up for an online dating website, but let’s be honest… you’ve got no idea what you’re doing.
Not to worry, we’ve teamed up with our friends over at IllicitEncounters.com, who have specialised in online dating for well over a decade, to bring you the Top Ten Golden Rules to online dating.
Be honest with yourself
What do you want? What do you really want? Tall, dark, handsome? Rich, successful, older? Procure a list and figure out your red lines – what are you willing to sacrifice, and what’s an absolute must-have? Now’s not the time for compromise, so set yourself some ideal, but realistic, expectations. True happiness never came from cutting corners.
Really be honest with yourself
There are few things worse in the world of online dating than meeting Adam, the 6ft 3, well-built, gym enthusiast, to find that he’s a few inchers shorter, a few pounds heavier, and his salary has one less digit in it. But hey, just because Adam’s been a bit of a jerk (sorry, Adam) doesn’t mean you should be, too. Sure, maybe you’re not totally comfortable in your own skin, but if you’re gonna start a relationship based on a lie, is there much of a point of starting one at all? Oh, and just because you want hiking once as part of a Duke of Edinburgh certificate doesn’t qualify you to classify that as a hobby.
Post a recent photo
Sure, you might have that one photo that you’re really happy with, but if it dates back to 2003, it might be best to leave it as a distant memory. Don’t be Adam.
Don’t say general things that mean absolutely nothing.
“I love music, hanging out with my friends, spending my family and listening to music.” I mean, yeah, but don’t we all? You’re not exactly standing out here. Highlight what makes you, you. Any unique interests and idiosyncrasies are more than welcome on your profile.
“I’ve been told I’m nice, I guess I’m not that good looking and I’m not the best in social situations.” Yeah, I wouldn’t go out with that guy either. This isn’t the time for self-loathing, ladies. Honesty is great, but so is confidence. You wouldn’t date a shy, overly modest and meek guy, so don’t expect someone to want to date you either.
Privacy is key
The last thing you need is a facetime from Adam (my ex was called Adam, can you tell?) at 1.30am who ‘just wants to chat’. An email is fine, but keep your cards fairly close to your chest early on. A phone number, Facebook and home address aren’t details that he needs to know. Not yet.
Make a move
If you’re sat around waiting for every man and his dog to message you, you might be waiting a while. It’s time to brush off the antiquated idea that guys’ text first. See a guy you like? He won’t know until you tell him, so tell him. You’re both adults, after all.
Talk to more than one guy at a time
There’s a saying about killing many birds with a solitary stone, and that’s certainly fine to do here. There’s no need to be exclusive just yet, so learning to juggle a few guys at a time is key. Just be sure not to mix up their names.
Take things slow
So you’ve met and the chemistry is electric, but don’t get too hasty. If he starts inviting himself round for ‘coffee’ (yeah, right) anytime soon, you need to prove early on that you can say no. Go for casual dates in public places. Meet for coffee (a real one, not the other kind), go for a meal, watch a film, and only when YOU are ready do you take things further. Patience is a virtue, so they say.
Break it off
If you come across an Adam and things aren’t going well, don’t force it. A gentle breakup early on is A LOT better than a messy disintegration of your relationship a few months down the line.
The UK’s largest married dating site has released statistics that provide an insight into when infidelity occurs and if you are 8 years into your marriage, now is the time to worry!
IllicitEncounters.com surveyed 1,300 of its members and discovered 8 years to be the most popular time after marriage for people to embark on an extra-marital relationship.
Most adulterers have remained with their spouse since having an affair (87%), and the majority of their partners never found out about the affair (78%).
The top reason for having an affair given by both men and women was ‘Sexual Satisfaction’.
Studies show that 57% of men and 54% of women admit to having cheated on their partner* – with more than half of the UK population allegedly having had a fling with someone other than their partner, it seems Britons do not shy away from the idea of having an affair, and for many it is a gamble worth taking as much of the time their partner never finds out.
Stacey a female member using the site said “You know, we’ve done a lot together. We fell in love, we had children, and we bought a house, now it’s just living day to day – sameness. The routine has been driving me nuts for years but I’ve tried to hold it together.
Once you’ve ticked all the boxes, there’s not much left to do but be, well, settled – and I am too restless to be content in sitting around being settled. Yes, I had my first ever affair 8 years in. I admit I missed the lust, the excitement and the energy that someone new gives you – was it an itch? Yeah probably, and I’ve been denying myself the scratch for a long time.”
Claire Page spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com said “Why are couples cheating after 8 years? Well, 8 years is a heck of a long time to keep the fire burning, and the levels of sexual satisfaction will have well and truly deteriorated long before this.
If you’re in your 8th year, and haven’t had fantastic sex with your spouse in awhile – it could be they’re scratching an itch, or perhaps, you are.”
* Associated Press, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy
One third of Adulterers believe that cheating doesn’t count when it’s done abroad.
IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest extra-marital affairs site, surveyed 1000 of it’s members and discovered that a whopping 33% admitted that they didn’t feel having a fling abroad was cheating.
The survey found that 28% of affair-seekers were planning a trip abroad to engage in some illicit fun this summer.
The surveyed also voted on the top European cheating destinations and found Prague to be the top contender.
What is interesting is that cheaters actually believe what they’re doing doesn’t constitute as cheating as long as it’s done on holiday; perhaps the anonymity of infidelity abroad minimizes the guilt factor, thus making it feel less deceptive.
Sierra, a female member using the site, said “What happens on holiday stays on holiday! It’s a universal rule. Every year I book a girlie getaway with my close pal Donna, who’s also married by the way. Our summer breaks are always very eventful, but nothing I want to write home about! Let’s just say a cheeky fling is always on the agenda, Donna and I both know it’s only some harmless fun. Our husbands drop us off at the airport and they’re right where we left them when we get back, none-the-wiser and perfectly happy to see us after a little break from each other. It’s win-win.”
Spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com Claire Page said “Let’s be honest here, what do you actually expect goes on – on a girls or lads holiday? Plenty of married people play away on holidays abroad; it’s just something nobody bats an eye at anymore.
Is it cheating? Apparently some think not, I can totally understand the thought process behind this though. The reason some people harbour any ill feelings towards their infidelity is due to the baggage that may follow them around, but if you can drop the baggage off on the conveyor belt at the airport – then the weight is quite literally off your shoulders.
If the problem doesn’t follow you home, then there’s no problem at all. So can cheating abroad not count? Yes, if you don’t let it.”