April Fo- oh, it’s real. An island, somewhere within 100 miles of Portsmouth, is up for sale, and IllicitEncounters.com (a dating website for married people) are in “advanced negotiations” to purchase it.
Their plan? To create a getaway for adulterers to spend some quality time together, one complete with accommodation, boardrooms to video call home to your partner, and hell, they’re even transporting you by helicopter.
Clever, or utter madness? We’ll have to wait to find out, as “Illicit Retreat” opens sometime next year. You can sign up to their mailing list here, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Have you ever wanted to know how many adulterers are in your town? Well, now you can (there’s literally an answer for everything it seems).
According to the annual Infidelity Index, the town of High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, is the most adulterous in the UK, with over 2% of its population having affairs.
Or, depending on where you stand, the plaudits should go to the town of Brentwood in Essex, who are officially the “cleanest” town in the UK.
Are we all just innately promiscuous? Maybe, but the married-dating site who commissioned the index have another theory, namely that the economic downturn has left a lot of couples reluctant or financially unable to divorce.
Husband loves wife. Wife loves husband. Except, one day, they don’t anymore. Over a period of weeks, months, years, their relationship disintegrates, until one of husband and wife (or both) commit a cardinal sin: infidelity. There’s no blueprint, no magic formula, no surefire way of fixing what’s broken, but our friends over at IllicitEncounters.com are helping us figure out the why.
Sex. You could argue that there are more important factors in a relationship, and that it isn’t the cornerstone of every relationship, and sure, there’s a lot of cases in which you’d be right. But there are plenty more where you’d be wrong. According to IllicitEncounters, a bad sex life is at the heart of over a third of all divorces. Whether that means there’s a lack of experimentation, passion, or semblance of intimacy, someone can only accept so much. It’s natural, it’s instinctive, and if a relationship can’t satisfy a common urge or desire, it won’t last too long.
So you married too young. You were swept away, rushed in, and now find yourself with more of a tinge of regret some years down the line. Or, maybe after 20 or so years the spark isn’t there. “So if you don’t love your partner, why don’t you just get a divorce?” A good question. It’s certainly a viable solution, one that makes sense on many levels, and in certain cases it’s the most reasonable and common outcome to a busted marriage. But in the modern day, divorces can be really, really messy. There’s the allocation of wealth, for starters. That in and of itself can be, shall we say, difficult. You want a quick separation, but you’re instead lumbered with a long and drawn out litigious battle.
If you have kids, it only gets worse. There’s custody to sort out, all while ensuring that you, your partner and your children have the mental fortitude to go through it all. Divorce isn’t for everyone, and it’s not exactly a no-brainer.
Your sex life is poor, you can’t change you, you can’t change your partner, and divorce isn’t an option. Hello, affair, nice to meet you.
The on-screen romance between Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson was pretty terrible. Their relationship off-screen however quickly made them one of the most popular and adored couples in Hollywood. That is until Stewart had an affair with director Rupert Sanders. Unsurprisingly, Pattinson killed the relationship, with fans and press alike struck down with frustration and fury.
9. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mildred Baena
‘I think it was the stupidest thing I’ve done in the whole relationship. It was terrible. I inflicted tremendous pain on Maria and unbelievable pain on the kids.’ That apology couldn’t save big Arnold, who cheated on wife Maria Shriver with maid, Mildred Baena. I say cheated, he slept with her and raised a child. Talk about rubbing salt in the wounds.
8. Hugh Grant and Divine Brown
In a regretful spur of the moment, lovable British actor Hugh Grant made himself a little less popular. Caught in the act, in public no less, Grant walked away humiliated. But, arguably the biggest surprise was that his then partner Elizabeth Hurley supported and forgave him (their relationship ended five years later). Props for trying, Liz.
7. Jude Law and Sienna Miller and everyone else
I’m not really sure who’s at fault here, and neither is anyone else. Law seemingly started it off by having an affair with the nanny of his kids. But, and there’s a but, Miller was simultaneously having an affair with Daniel Craig. The pair apologised, split, and then rekindled their relationship just a few years later…only to then split up again. Let it go, guys. Let it go.
6. Ronnie Wood and Ekaterina Ivanova
Is the fact that Ronnie Wood had an affair the most shocking thing in the world? Probably not, no. But who he had it with? That’s a different story. The then 61 year old was in a marriage that was 23 years strong. With his youth behind him, you’d imagine that a lot of his, shall we say, sexual encounters, disappeared along with it. Apparently not, as Mr. Wood eloped with 18 year-old cocktail waitress Ekaterina Ivanova. His wife, Jo, subsequently ended the marriage. Good on you, Jo.
5. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Pitt has always vehemently denied that he cheated on ex-wife Jennifer Aniston, but it took him just two months after announcing his separation from the Friends star to appear in public with Angelina Jolie. It didn’t help matters when both he and Angelina admitted that they fell in love while filming Mr. and Mrs. Smith. As for Jennifer Aniston, she took a few swipes at her former partner, stating that he lacked a ‘sensitivity meter’.
4. Ashley Cole and…everyone?
Cheryl Cole – sorry, Cheryl Fernandez-Versini – ended her marriage with the former Chelsea player after “several” women opened up to the Girls Aloud star about having an affair with him. Given their high-profile status, rumours had been doing the rounds for a little while. Was Cheryl racist? Was Ashley gay? Was their whole marriage a cover up? Who knows, but their breakup only cemented their place in the headlines for several months more.
3. Tiger Woods and Jaimee Grubbs
A lion wouldn’t cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood. Thank you, thank you. After years of hiding a tumultuous affair, Tiger Woods was caught, and what a scene it was too. A leaked email? An unsolicited text? Woods doesn’t bother with such low-key events. A car crash, a heated argument, and an assault on his car from his wife. It didn’t take long before Woods’ story made headlines, prompting him to apologise for his infidelity, and take an indefinite hiatus from the sport.
2. Charles and Camilla
Prince Charles is, or maybe was, pretty enviable. Wealth, status, royalty and Princess Diana – one of the nations, if not the world’s, most treasured human beings – by his side. He wouldn’t screw it up, right? Right?!
*sigh* Oh Charles.
Ryan Giggs and Imogen Thomas (and Natasha Giggs)
Another footballer. Only this time, it’s much, much worse. He cheated on his wife with glamour model Imogen Thomas – that’s already pretty bad – but to go on and cheat with his brother’s wife was, and still is, the mother of all affairs. For shame, Ryan. For shame.
Yeesh. It’s not good news if you’re dating a lawyer. Our friends over at IllicitEncounters.com (who know a thing or two about affairs) are saying that the legal eagles are in fact the most likely profession to cheat on their partners. Dating a lawyer who seems a little stressed out? I’d probably keep an extra eye on them if I were you…