April Fo- oh, it’s real. An island, somewhere within 100 miles of Portsmouth, is up for sale, and IllicitEncounters.com (a dating website for married people) are in “advanced negotiations” to purchase it.
Their plan? To create a getaway for adulterers to spend some quality time together, one complete with accommodation, boardrooms to video call home to your partner, and hell, they’re even transporting you by helicopter.
Clever, or utter madness? We’ll have to wait to find out, as “Illicit Retreat” opens sometime next year. You can sign up to their mailing list here, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Underwear. The latest fragrances. A fitness watch. Maybe even a new phone. To the naked eye, it’s an innocent list of Christmas gifts. According to our friends over at IllicitEncounters.com, it could be a telltale sign that your partner is an adulterer.
Why? Well, isn’t in obvious? A sharp new suit, a brand new smell, a new phone (for who, exactly?), the sudden desire to get fit… he’s after someone else, or maybe he’s already found her.
Green Saturday is coming – the day of the year that you’re most likely to get lucky – and its three days before Saint Patrick’s Day, on the 14th March.
IllicitEncounters.com, the UK and Ireland’s top married dating site, surveyed 500 people and asked them what day of the year they would most likely sleep with someone. The majority of people (68% – 342) said they would sleep with someone the weekend before Paddy’s Day, beating New Year’s Eve, Stephen’s Day and Valentine’s Day.
“It doesn’t surprise me that the top day people will have sex this year is the weekend before Paddy’s Day,” Claire Page, spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com said, “Paddy’s Day is the biggest drinking day of the year, and people are sexually liberated when they’re drunk, so of course Green Saturday will see a lot of people getting lucky! People are usually better at sex after a drink or two. It makes them less tense, reduces their inhibitions and because alcohol is a social lubricant, people are less awkward after a glass or two. Alcohol in moderation actually makes you more attractive too: it increases blood flow and gives you a nice rosy glow. It also increases your confidence!”
Alcohol abuse costs the state a billion euro a year but Doctor Aoife Murphy explained that alcohol contributes to more people being promiscuous and enjoying the health benefits associated with sex – “People have more sex when they’ve consumed alcohol, particularly with people they’re not in a relationship with. Regular sex has many health benefits – firstly, it improves women’s bladder control. A strong pelvic floor is highly important for avoiding inconsistence, something that affects one in three women at some point in their lives. Sex is like a work out for your pelvic floor. When you have an orgasm, it contracts these muscles, which strengthens them. Sex also lowers systolic blood pressure and it’s a great form of exercise, which is great for weight loss and is good for your heart – as well as raising your heart rate, sex keeps oestrogen and testosterone levels balanced. Sex is also a natural pain reliever, often more powerful than Paracetamol. Vaginal stimulation can block chronic leg and back pain, and I’ve seen many cases where women claim genital stimulation (including self-stimulation) can help migraines, headaches, arthritis and menstrual cramps. It also boots immunity – those who have regular sex have higher levels of immunoglobulin A, an antibody that helps ward off common cold and flu symptoms.”
IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s largest married dating site has released a 2015 index of the number of people having affairs in every area in the UK. According to the index Beeston is 2015’s most adulterous town in the UK with 2.54% of the population of the town having an affair. You can check the interactive website and see how many people are having an affair in your postcode www.infidelityindex.co.uk
“It’s no wonder the traffic to the site is so high.” Claire Page of IllicitEncounters.com said “People are dying to see how many people are having an affair on their street, village or town – who wouldn’t want to know if they live in a cheating hotspot? Thousands of people are checking the Illicit Index to see how many people in their area are having affairs. I think it’s great that Beeston is the most unfaithful town of 2015. People think you’d get more life in a graveyard than in Beeston but the Illicit Index proves one thing: it’s always the quiet ones!”
“There are many reasons people have affairs in small towns like Beeston – feelings of frustration, isolation and loneliness can be contributing factors as well as the limited options in marriage.” psychologist Lucy Redford said, “Discretion is usually the main priority in extra-marital affairs. If secrecy wasn’t important, the individual would seek a divorce before an affair. Oftentimes when passion has left a relationship, but people don’t want to fracture their home status or disrupt a family unit, and they’re not willing to compromise their sex lives, an affair becomes tempting for their situation.”
Wow. Well that’s quite a lot to take in! Who would’ve thought?
Mercedes and Mini Coopers are the most common cars driven by Britain’s adulterers, according to a new study by IllicitEncounters.com, the UK’s top married dating site. The top car for female members is a Mini Cooper with 19.5% of the votes, while the most popular car for male members is a Mercedes with 23% of the votes. If your spouse drives a Toyota they’re less likely to be having an affair, because the two cars driven least by adulterers are a Prius (0.41% of votes) or a Yaris (0.82%).
The Cars Driven Most by Female Adulterers
1. Mini Cooper
The Cars Driven Most by Male Adulterers
“It doesn’t surprise me that the top five cars most driven by male adulterers are all luxury cars,” Claire Page spokesperson for IllicitEncounters.com said “Mercedes, BMW, Jaguar, Bentley and Audi all top the list because our typical male member is better educated, earns more and is more successful than the average British male. Our male members tend to have a lot of disposable income. Annual male membership prices range from £999.99 to £2,040. If they can afford this they’ll most likely have the best of everything in life, including a mistress! Mercedes Benz is the most adulterous car in Britain, their branding clearly depicts this sort of lifestyle – all their advertising sells sex. They’ve had ads banned on numerous occasions and their Superbowl commercial featured a Playmate. It’s no wonder Merc-drivers tend to be men looking for an affair to improve their sex lives!”
“In the same way that a dog takes on the personality of its master, cars tend to reflect personality traits of their owner.” Claire Page said “Interestingly, 68% of men said they associated a ‘flirtatious’ personality with Mini drivers, and this prejudice rang true with it being the car driven most by female adulterers.”
The Cars Driven Least by Adulterers
1. Toyota – Prius
2. Toyota – Yaris
3. Kia – Rio
4. Ford – Fiesta
5. Nissan – Micra
The Prius is largely associated with being boring and safe. In Will Ferrell’s The Other Guys, it’s referred to as a ‘tampon on wheels’. This stereotype seems to be accurate in this study because those driving a Prius tend to be the most faithful, securing only 0.41% of votes, 56 times less than Mercedes drivers!
E-cards can be sent by email for free from Mistresscards.com or printed versions of the cards cost £2.50 and can be ordered online. Most of the cards are aimed at men although others are aimed at married women to send to their lovers – or Histresses.
The best-selling Mistress card says:
‘Roses are red, Violets are Blue, It’s a good thing my wife doesn’t know I’m screwing you’
The second best-selling card says:
‘I want you as my mistress to brighten up my life,
Married dating site Illicit Encounters has seen a record high of new female members this January, with over 3,500 new sign ups. This peak in members is the highest new sign ups Illicit Encounters has had in it’s 11 years of business.
Spokesperson for Illicit Encounters Claire Page said, “There has been a clear change in attitudes toward adultery in the last few years, but 2015 indicates something much bigger.
“Women are coming to us with more awareness about their needs than ever before. From their profiles, you can see that our new ladies are looking for something more than just a quick fumble – they are looking for fulfillment, they expect something life-altering.”
Tiffany, 39, from West London, has been a member of the site for just over a week, “My decision to join was made out of frustration. Over Christmas, I spent over 3 weeks confined with my husband, who, after 12 years of marriage, only pays attention to me if I block his view of the television. I want to feel young and sexy again, I want to feel like a better woman. As my partner has made it clear he is incapable of helping me out, I have employed a more drastic measure.”
What do you think ladies? Is having an affair on your New Years Resolutions this January?