Lemonade.

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So, Beyoncé just released a thing. Apologies – that’s doing it a disservice. Her latest album, Lemonade, was surprisingly released over the weekend. What’s surprising about a musician releasing music? Not a lot, but this one is an exception given that, y’know, nobody was aware of its existence until a few days ago.

While I’m not her no.1 fan by any means, the “visual album,” as it’s been dubbed, is certainly unique.

The hot topics range from female empowerment to her seemingly troubled relationship with superstar husband, Jay-Z, and it’s the latter that I’m most interested in.

There’s more than just subtle hints that the rapper cheated on her (and lord knows why) which, as I’ve mentioned before,  doesn’t make the life of an average joe like myself all that bad – nobody’s immune to a bit of pain and sadness.

But, as the album concludes, it might be worth powering through adversity too.

The Rule Book.

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Rule number 1: Thou must always share one’s mobile password.

Rule number 2: Thou must take part in regular date nights.

Rule number 3? We don’t know rule number 3 yet. TV and radio presenter, Vernon Kay, does, however, and it’s something that he’s agreed to abide by.

He was caught ‘sexting’ (apparently that’s a term that actually appears in the Oxford English Dictionary) page 3 model, Rhian Sugden.

Needless to say, wife and fellow TV presenter, Tess Daly, didn’t take too kindly to the news, and hence we have the aforementioned rule book.

How many rules are there, I wonder? Is the first rule of the rule book never to talk about the rule book?

We might find out should Vernon decide to overstep the mark again…

How Social Media Has Influenced the Modern Relationship

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“My friend is in her marriage having the time of her life, and I’m just angrily elucidating my thoughts on an internet blog.”

At least that’s how I’m made to feel by the almost overwhelming combination of Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram… the list seems infinite.

But does it really even matter? Well, sort of.

I think that there’s a little bit of the ‘keeping up with the Jones’ syndrome in all of us, and that’s ok.  It’s easy to take solace from someone else’s failure; it means you’re not alone; it justifies your misdemeanors, your missteps, your failure to achieve whatever it is that you set out to achieve when you were young(er).

Cowardly? Maybe. Comforting? Most certainly.

But it’s getting harder and harder, year on year. Expectations of relationships have changed in the last, say, 10 years or so.

Accessing the aforementioned social media channels floods me with images. Look at the happy people; they’re always smiling, always socialising, getting married, raising children – it takes a level of mental fortitude that’s beyond most of us to be able to avoid making comparisons and avoid being overcome by feelings of inadequacy.

We’re all stuck in a massive, bottomless echo chamber, where we’re told what happiness looks like. The result? We feel that our own marriage isn’t where it should be, so, naturally, we’re inclined to act upon that.

It takes the better part of, I don’t know, 5 minutes (?) to set up a profile on a dating site, and away you go. And given the aforementioned, y’know, ‘my life’s terrible while all my friends are thriving’ thing, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t given it any thought…

A Dating Site Is Buying An Island for Adulterers…

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April Fo- oh, it’s real. An island, somewhere within 100 miles of Portsmouth, is up for sale, and IllicitEncounters.com (a dating website for married people) are in “advanced negotiations” to purchase it.

Their plan? To create a getaway for adulterers to spend some quality time together, one complete with accommodation, boardrooms to video call home to your partner, and hell, they’re even transporting you by helicopter.

Clever, or utter madness? We’ll have to wait to find out, as “Illicit Retreat” opens sometime next year. You can sign up to their mailing list here, if you’re into that sort of thing.

The Budget 2016 – What It’ll Really Mean

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We don’t often get political here on BWC, but time and experience has taught us that there’s not a lot that you can’t link back to relationships.

And, evidently, IllicitEncounters.com, a UK dating website for married people, are on the same wavelength. Once you sieve through the PR and minutiae of every precisely worded statement, the Budget could lead more people to cheat (so say the aforementioned website).

While the increased investment in transport links and potentially longer school day are sure to have a great socioeconomic impact either way, an extra hour in the day for a lonely housewife to sneak out or a quicker way to travel up and down the country will only ease the time and mobility of an adulterer.

It’s an interesting thought…

The Most Adulterous Town in the UK Is…

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Have you ever wanted to know how many adulterers are in your town? Well, now you can (there’s literally an answer for everything it seems).

According to the annual Infidelity Index, the town of High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, is the most adulterous in the UK, with over 2% of its population having affairs.

So, congratulations…right?

Or, depending on where you stand, the plaudits should go to the town of Brentwood in Essex, who are officially the “cleanest” town in the UK.

Are we all just innately promiscuous? Maybe, but the married-dating site who commissioned the index have another theory, namely that the economic downturn has left a lot of couples reluctant or financially unable to divorce.

Are you one of them?

Four Films Ruined by “Netflix and Chill”

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“Two messages from two chats” says WhatsApp. Your eyes ignore Holly’s post in GIRLSHOLIDAY2016 (*sun emoticon x3*) and glance instead at Dave’s message:

“Do you want to come over and watch a film?” he asks. How cute. How innocent.

You’re not much of a movie goer, but then again neither as he. And then it clicks.

I’m not sure at what point in our evolution sex took on the disguise of a crappy movie on a Saturday night, but apparently it’s happened, and in a big way.

This is an ode to the films ruined by the notorious “Netflix and Chill,” the films that never made it to the end credits, nay, beyond the second act. To those films, we salute you.

Orange Is the New Black

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While not strictly a film, OITNB ticks all the boxes. Let’s face it, there’s only so long you or your partner can watch steamy interactions between lesbians without edging closer towards the “chill” portion of the evening.

The Men Who Stare At Goats

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Clooney. Spacey. Bridges. McGregor. Goats. It’s seriously impressive that a film with such a star-studded cast (and goats) could be so bad. And that’s sort of the point here. A movie so dull will only leave its viewers desperate to do anything else but continue to watch it to its conclusion. You’re welcome.

Wolf of Wall Street

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It’s three hours of sex and drugs and…more sex, with all the beautiful people you could possibly ever want. And at three hours long, it won’t be long before you’ll suggest doing, er, something else.

Scream 

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…Bear with me. While it certainly lacks a feel-good factor, or any semblance of romance, Scream, or most good horror films in fact, are good for one thing: making the fearful one in the relationship leap into the arms of the other. The rest takes care of itself.