First step to resolving a feud with your partner is to recognize why it is that you are angry in the first place.
Scenario, you’ve got an extremely important day ahead of you, you spent the night before preparing your outfit for work the next day and meticulously rehearsing a presentation. You’ve woken up a little late and are in a slight panic, you’re rushing to get ready but at every step of your morning routine your partner is seemingly-on-purpose in the damn way. You are holding your cool- today is not the day to blow a fuse. When you’ve just about gotten your stuff together you go to the bathroom to brush your teeth and HE has finished the last of the toothpaste!!! THE INCONSIDERATE, SELFISH, USELESS @#!?! You cannot contain your anger. You has crossed the line. World War Three Ensues.
Breathe. You’re not pissed at your partner- you’re angry that nothing is going the way you need it to in the morning. Or perhaps you are pissed at your partner because you feel he should be putting in the effort you would like and the lack of consideration by using the last of the toothpaste was simply the push over the edge.
Figure it out. Figure out why your really mad and then you can try begin tackling the REAL issue.
Once you’ve established the reason for your anger you have to confront it, when you’re not angry anymore. Let off some steam, get the space you need and THEN attempt to discuss it. With most fights, all it takes is communication to set the wheels in motion for a resolution.
7 Golden Rules to take into account:
- Don’t Scream
- Be positive
- Explain yourself clearly and directly
- Do not bring up the past- focus on the issue at hand
- Don’t spend the discussing trying to reason your actions or their actions- but work on solutions
- Try to see things from all points of view
- Agree on things you can both do to mend and heal
As you were 😉
Love BWC xoxo