We all know that the art of language is sometimes wasted on the opposite sex- we may as well be speaking in different languages- for the good it does in understanding each other. It seems the universal meaning for one word when uttered by the other half suddenly takes on the meaning of it’s polar opposite- why is it that communication is failing to communicate what we mean?
There are factors that can be taken into account to determine whether your partner is telling you the truth or whether they are implying something different. There are three elements that contribute to communication: the actual words being spoken, the tone in which they are said and the body language of the speaker.
If you break this down even further you begin to see the ways in which each element can be influenced.
Words are concerned with literal meaning and what the person would like you to understand.
The tone of voice can be impacted by the mood of the speaker and therefore can be a giveaway of what the underlining message of communication really is- if it seems to be in a conflict with the speakers literal meaning. For example if a person were to say ‘I’m fine’ whilst distraught and in tears- this gives off the impression that they are not fine at all, thus the tone of voice is in conflict with the literal words.
Body language accounts for the way in which you physically react towards someone. Understanding body language can be particularly complex, however, there are some simple tell-tell signs that can display a person’s intentions, particularly if that persons stance seems open or closed toward you. Someone who is not quite saying what they mean may look nervous, and exhibit signs that they are not quite certain of their literal meaning- they may avert their gaze when met with yours. Whereas someone’s body language that is agreeable with their literal words will project their words in a confident manner, head held high and looking towards you.
Sometimes all it takes is thinking outside of the book, put yourself in your partners shoes and try to see not only what it is they are saying, but how and why they may be saying it.
Love BWC xoxo